Little spider

 We had El's first dance performance for The Emerald Academy of dance, 'Nightmare before Christmas' production over the weekend. Boy, what a busy week it was! It began with long dance rehearsals, full dress rehearsals, running errands to find things she needed and having to turn a size 14 robe into a size 4 to cover her massive spider costume. Not to mention, preparing hair, applying makeup, taking make up off, and putting on a dozen items that made up her costume during four different performances over two days... aaaah I feel tired just writing this!

It was not easy. Especially when the little diva insisted on looking at herself after every little stroke of make up that was applied. No joke. EVERY stroke was followed by "can I see?!" and followed by a little strut in front of the mirror- seriously, where does this vanity come from!? :) Needless to say, by the time we got ready for the fourth performance, I was a little over it. But for anyone who ever needs spider make-up done (you know you want to)... I'm your girl, I could even do it with my eyes closed!

El was so excited when we she got ready and arrived at the town hall for her first performance. I was rostered on for that time to supervise her group with another mother, and at first I thought this was a good thing, as I could provide some moral support for El's first performance. But I was wrong. I guess I made her more nervous and unsettled by being there, as when we began getting prepared to take them behind stage, I noticed she started to cling onto me and wouldn't let go. Then I saw watery eyes and an uncertain little spider face.

I thought to myself "oh, no" as I began to think about the time I was her age, and chosen over all the kids at my school to lead a marching group with my impressive thighs and baton skills. I was going to be in all the local papers and news- pretty much become famous in my little town :). But, I caved in under all the pressure at the very last minute, and backed out. I simply didn't do it.

 I began to feel anxious for her, and worried that history would repeat it self. So I just began to remind her what a great time she'd been having in rehearsals and how well she knows the dance and what a great dancer she is. I also asked her what was  making  her get upset all of a sudden? Well, she pretty much said something along the lines of "mummy when you stay with me, it makes me sad." I felt terrible. Not for me, but for her. I know how confident and independent El is, and I felt like I was squashing that by my presence there.

But the funny thing was, that even though the sad eyes lasted all the way up backstage, and as she waited in her spot, and even while she reached out to me with a look that said "come save me," as soon as the curtains opened and the music started, she was off on to that stage with not a single sign that she was on the verge of tears only a second ago. She was a little pro, so capable and confident. I was so proud of her that I didn't even let the first thing she said to me when she came off stage, which was "mum, can you just drop me off and go next time, so I don't get sad" affect how happy and pleased I felt.

Fortunately for El, I had to do just that (drop her off and go) for all  her other performances, which she was very happy about.

We got to see her on the final show on Saturday night, and I reassured her that we would all be watching from the audience and not backstage, and she was so thrilled to be performing for us. 

Watching her up on stage was magical. I loved every minute (15mins) of it. I could not take my eyes of her or take my huge smile off my face, or remove the huge knot in my throat. Joe and I were just so proud of our little star, or in this case, our little spider. She was just the best! My favourite part was at the conclusion of her dance, when she did her scary spider pose and held it to the very end, right until the curtains closed, all while the other little spiders  and pumpkins where a little uncertain looking around to see who would be the first or when to move off stage. El just stood there with her spider stance and owned it. Such a classic little moment.

Oh, I love that girl. And unlike her mother who at the same age completely freaked out and backed away in the last minute, kissing good-bye her big moment and 15 minutes of fame (clearly, it's something I've never gotten over and regret), El shone and blew us all away with her wonderful performance. That's my girl!

Ps. I forgot (and regret) to put her black gloves on for these photos. Just not the same without them.