Spring. It's not as lovely as it first seems.

So today is the first day of spring. I set out this morning with the kids on a walk to El's kindy. All was well, and I was admiring the beautiful spring day. All until the most traumatising experience occurred to me.

 So I thought the gecko falling on my face from the ceiling was bad, then when the massive cockroach went up my pants... I thought that was really bad. But today, this one beats them all! I was the victim of the worst animal attack yet, and I say "yet," because by the looks of it, I'm cursed.

Have you ever seen someone being swooped and attacked by a magpie? I have, and it is the funniest thing! It's also very funny when your friend tells you she was swooped by one, and gives you a re-inactment of the whole ordeal, all while you brag about how it's never happened to you. Well, karma is a pain. Because today, I was attacked by a feisty magpie!

When it happened the first time- yes, it happened more then once on the same day- I didn't see it coming at all. Not until I felt a huge slap on the side my face! Now, I've personally have never been hit on the face with a bat before, but I could imagine that this was pretty close to the feeling! At first, I thought the poor bird hadn't seen me, and just so happened to fly onto my face with all it's force. However, when I saw that it was out to get me again, it dawned on me that it was spring, and springtime means...magpie attack season!
So I began to run and scream like a crazy person- I'm getting really good at this- all while providing early morning entertainment for all the on-lookers in their vehicles. I managed to run away without getting slapped again. The kids didn't see a thing, and I think they're pretty used to hearing me scream like a crazy person, because they weren't phased by it all. I on the other hand, was left in shock, with a painful face, and a scratched ear!

Of course, when I told Elly what had happened, she was so interested to learn all about magpies and why they swoop people in the spring. So at least she got a learning experience out of my whole traumatising ordeal. Also, true to Elly's form, she told everyone about how mummy got swooped by a magpie when she arrived at kindy... everyone! I know so, because she just gave me a whole list of names who heard her story. Apparently, Baily (her friend) laughed... "It was quite funny" Elly tells me. Well Baily, I thought it was pretty funny too, until it happened to me! So watch out!

So anyway, as I mentally prepared my-self for the dreaded walk back from kindy, El left me with this advice..."mum, if the magpie tries to swoop you again, you tell him 'shoo you pesky magpie!" and of course she added the crazy, swooshy arm movement that went with it. With that "useful" advice, I set back home... terrified of what was to come.

I made the decision to cross the wide road and walk on the other side. I thought that surely the magpie wouldn't see me as threat if I was on the other side of his territory. I was wrong. This magpie was very territorial, because as soon as he saw me... I knew I was in trouble.

 The next thing I see, is this crazy scary bird high in the sky coming straight towards me! It was like a horror movie. Then my 'crazy lady' screams start, and the swooshing of arms, and the upright foetal position, all while being so scared and helpless, as the evil magpie swooped on me around 6 or more times (no exaggeration), it just wouldn't stop! At that point, I thought it was going to attack me all the way home and learn where I lived, and torment me for the rest of my life!
So when Elly's- yell at the bird and swoosh your arm crazily advice failed, all I could do was run. I ran so fast that I thought I was going to wet my pants- and in the pregnant state that I'm in, it's not hard to do, trust me.

Lucky for me, the feisty magpie eventually surrendered, and I lived to tell the tale. All while Noah was non the wiser- he probably just thought I was feeling fit with all the running, and like I said, he's used to my crazy out-of-the-blue screaming.
So yes, I survived the horrible experience... just. But not before completely humiliating myself, sustaining a couple of battle wounds, making a vow that my walking days in spring are over, and being left completely traumatised of magpies.

How do I know I'm traumatised, you say? Well, when you later see a leaf falling from a tree, and you automatically think it's a magpie out to attack you, and you let out a scream and duck for cover... well, that's how you know.